World of Porches; Skies and Suns

Part XI of Omitting My Confessions

Lonely little front porch,

finally gained a friend today.

Silent conversations,

His friend sits there on the steps.

And this time the porch,

is helping her say goodbye,

as she watches her love,

walk into the dust.

The house is desperate,

but the hallways are caving,

they're caving in on themselves,

their defeat their own fault.

The sun is turning to wax,

in this world of porches.

The sky is bleeding color,

and the grass is fading to grey.

She watches every friend,

turn their back to her.

She watches each love,

walk past her door without regret.

She whispers to the porch,

"You see, there goes another.

I'll never love again, my friend,

except for loving you."

Love is killing me today,

soon enough there wont be anything,

no there wont be anything left,

no room in a heart thats all gone.

The sun is turning to wax,

in this world of porches.

The sky is bleeding color,

and the grass is fading to grey.

Soon theres no one left to stay,

soon theres nothing left to say,

Surely a heart can love forever,

but forever wont love my heart.

A porch absorbs the silence,

a porch contains a heart,

my porch contains a feeling,

this porch is all i've got.

but her porch burned down today,

it burned right to the ground.

she accidently lit a match,

and accidently set it free.

So beautiful were the flames,

as they danced their oiled path.

and she whispered to them today,

"You see, there goes another.

I'll never love again, my friend,

except for loving you."

Days in this Future; Father Time

Part X of Omitting My Confessions

dear father time,

I hope you don't mind,

but i'm thinking ahead,

to days far in my future.

And I'm pretty scared,

for what these days might hold

the futures not looking well,

its looking sick and dead instead.

So I'm begging you,

to look after me now.

I may not be bright,

but I want to survive this.

Christmas is a shadow,

cast from this store window.

I'm seeing happy families,

that don't mirror my own.

I want to find love,

I want a safe, and loving home.

Maybe I've got that,

I'm just feeling so alone.

But I'm praying anyways,

I'm praying harder than ever before.

I've got a hope for better tomorrows,

I've got hope theres something left.

So please father time,

save me from more yesterdays,

that loom as ghosts,

of bitterly dark times...

And I'm hoping that,

you won't mind father time,

but i'm thinking ahead,

to days far in my future.

Desperate Extremes; Fed-Ex Hearts

Part IX of Omitting My Confessions

I wish you could read the words on my heart,

but your too busy marching the other way.

Yes it hurts, maybe it was meant to,

but either way, there's never a sign from you.

I'm looking for an indication to turn around,

that my head and heart are screwed on wrong,

I'm not a mummy wrapped and in a coffin,

I'm a living, breathing, human in the back of your mind.

*Soon you can't deny it completely,

cause no matter how you try,

you can never get rid of me

but your going to desperate extremes.*

So heres a glove, but no hand to wave goodbye,

I'm getting used to the casualties you take on me,

but the death rates are no longer consistent,

you're falling out of faith and taking second glances.

What happened to denying the thoughts you think,

where'd the lies go about how you really feel?

I'm starting to think that your breath was sweeter,

when it lacked innocence and certain kinds of fear.

*Soon you can't deny it completely,

cause no matter how you try,

you can never get rid of me

yet your going to desperate extremes.*

Stroking patterns of my pen, ink on my face,

and its for nothing but rolling eyes.

I'm having trouble seeing your love at all,

through the cracked and jagged edges of this glass.

These letters are useless now,

when you won't let the roots of my words unfold,

when you won't even open the note i sent,

I should of known not even fed-ex hearts can save us.

(No not even fed-ex hearts can save us now)

*Soon you can't deny it completely,

cause no matter how you try,

you can never get rid of me

yet your going to desperate extremes.*

So heres my heart, (my fed-ex heart)

and the manual to throw away.

I was a shiny new thing on the ground,

and you only picked me up to drop me,

(yea you only picked me up to drop me)

I wish you could read the words on my heart,

but your too busy marching the other way....

and I should of known,

not even fed-ex hearts can save us.

Disguise of Uncertainty

Part VIII of Omitting My Confessions

If ure gunna kill me,

than be a man & watch me die.

Tell me you dont love me,

say it to my face this time.

Maybe im failing to except the loss,

but ure failing to care why

and maybe thats why im a childish fool

wanting the beast to be the man he is inside

I failed to show the world that the monster

is only a disguise of uncertainty

I failed to be important,

failed to be enough,

and ive failed to convince myself,

that Im not still in love with u.

and all i have to show,

is that now ive been denied.

Paper Hearts, Fires, and Air Conditioning

PART VII of Omitting My Confessions

I'm spinning in circles,

to keep off of the ground.

But i'm falling faster now,

these circles only go down.

why are they a spiral,

thats a fall until the end?

why is this the end of the line,

when its doesnt have a start

I'm tired of artificial hugs,

that will never mean anything.

why is everything so fake,

when this world is so real,

and its everything we make it,

so whys this a circle with no end?

whys this a line without a start?

wheres God, and wheres love?

I'm tired of long goodbyes,

that are just blown away.

like the AC has more control,

of where they go than we do.

I'm making another paper heart,

just so you can tear it again.

attaching string to dangle it from,

so you can burn it slowly.

and this time i'll just cry,

cause old habits die hard,

and this ones dying slowly,

without the AC taking over.

I'm tired of artificial hugs,

that will never mean anything.

why is everything so fake,

when this world is so real,

and its everything we make it,

so whys this a circle with no end?

whys this a line without a start?

wheres God, and wheres love?

I'm tired of long goodbyes,

that are just blown away.

like the AC has more control,

of where they go than we do.

But the AC could make,

a wild fire out of what you've started,

until I'm martyred for you,

for believing in something more.

All of these wicked words,

are being spewed into my ears,

but im stuck here thinking,

see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

I'm tired of artificial hugs,

that will never mean anything.

why is everything so fake,

when this world is so real,

and its everything we make it,

so whys this a circle with no end?

whys this a line without a start?

wheres God, and wheres love?

I'm tired of long goodbyes,

that are just blown away.

like the AC has more control,

of where they go than we do.

I'm spinning in circles,

to keep off of the ground.

but this AC is succeeding,

in blowing me down...

Matters of Opinion; Zebras and Vampires

Part VI of Omitting my Confessions

the phone is ringing,

you look to see who it is.

But you know very well,

the name thats on the screen.

you're gunna break soon,

i can feel it in this air.

And all of this time,

you were trying to compare.

But zebras and vampires,

overlap in small and simple ways.

Its a matter of opinion,

its a matter of who you are,

its like little boys with spaceships,

like little girls and dolls.

yet this time its our life,

this time its something more.

Its a phone we have to hang up,

and a promise we have to make.

make up your mind sir,

the light's either on or off,

i'm either here or im there,

and you either care or you don't.

So pick her up,

or let her down now.

Shes gunna move on,

and shes gunna come right back.

But zebras and vampires,

overlap in small and simple ways.

Its a matter of opinion,

its a matter of who you are,

its like little boys with spaceships,

like little girls and dolls.

yet this time its our life,

this time its something more.

Its a phone we have to hang up,

and a promise we have to make.

Don't you see this cycle?

don't you see this plan?

I'm tired of losing the same game,

to the same people,

I'm tired of effortless people,

effortless notes goodbye.

But zebras and vampires,

overlap in small and simple ways.

Its a matter of opinion,

its a matter of who you are,

its like little boys with spaceships,

like little girls and dolls.

yet this time its our life,

this time its something more.

Its a phone we have to hang up,

and a promise we have to make.

the phone is ringing,

you look to see who it is.

But you know very well,

the name is a ghost to kill.

Desperate to Know; Rubber Souls

Part V of Omitting my Confessions

can you say goodbye without crying?

can you tell me the truth without lying?

Cause i'm becoming desperate to know,

what things could have been like.

I made a mistake,

but so did the world.

I'm questioning God,

he's saying we are crazy.

These lights are growing dimmer,

this tunnel's becoming thinner.

Sanity's in question,

as all these words are falling out.

can you say goodbye without crying?

can you tell me the truth without lying?

Cause i'm becoming desperate to know,

what things could have been like.

There's a mad man in the streets,

there's people without a home.

and their lives amount to nothing,

but there's happiness in their smile.

So if you can't kill what's dying,

then become someone you don't know.

Its just another pair of shoes to fill,

shoes with rubber souls.

can you say goodbye without crying?

can you tell me the truth without lying?

Cause i'm becoming desperate to know,

what things could have been like.

I made a mistake,

but so did the world.

I'm questioning God,

he's saying we are crazy....

Cast Away Wilson

Part IV of Omitting my Confessions

why is it,

that talent isn't noticed..

these people know things,

but they ignore them all.

They can make mud out of water,

and create nothing from this sand.

When miracles surround them,

they never see them there.

So are these people just crazy,

or is there something else to blame?

Cause this is no longer a fight,

its just a pointless argument.

So cast away wilson,

this storm will never end.

gravity has been my enemy,

for keeping me on this ground.

im only asking for a prayer,

one person to please care.

But i'm stuck in this storm,

and like Wilson I can't die

this talent is saying sorry,

and its looking me in the face,

It's telling me life is over,

and its saying thats a fact.

I'm wondering what is mine,

I'm wondering if i'm alive.

the ocean holds my passion,

the horizon owns my mind,

these seasons are changing,

their lives are ever-new.

this willow has spent an eternity,

weeping my tears for me.

So cast away wilson,

this storm will never end.

gravity has been my enemy,

for keeping me on this ground.

im only asking for a prayer,

one person to please care.

But i'm stuck in this storm,

and like Wilson I can't die

gravity could be my enemy,

for keeping me on this ground..

[repeat]

so cast away wilson,

yea cast away wilson..

[repeat as necessary]

If science isn't nature,

and these people aren't good,

than who's to blame for evolution,

cause this system has a crack.

And i'm falling like crazy,

i'm just about to break.

When caffine can not hold me,

and this alarm clock's tone is dead.

I'm aiming for space I never needed,

your asking for things I didn't want.

and so whys this world falling,

whys this tree still crying for me?

So cast away wilson,

this storm will never end.

gravity has been my enemy,

for keeping me on this ground.

im only asking for a prayer,

one person to please care.

But i'm stuck in this storm,

and like Wilson I can't die

Theres nothing to find,

so dont even try,

not even wilson survived this storm,

and Wilson couldn't die.

Burn This Bridge; Invisible Man

Part III of Omitting My Confessions

I wasted time to think about you,
invisible man without a heart.
I thought trust was just so easy,
but trusting you is hard.

Heres a mirror,
heres my proof you don't exist.
I can see right through you now,
this sun will fade you till your dust.

Burn this bridge,
and burn it fast.
You'll look back,
but don't look down.
you only live,
in someone else's mind.
You're just a page
within my journal,
your just another
bridge to burn.

you walk through walls,
ignoring that i can't follow.
Show up days later trying
to apologize through clenched teeth.

Heres a letter,
heres my proof that i am gone.
I can see right past the memories,
this life will bring you to your end.

Burn this bridge,
and burn it fast.
You'll look back,
but don't look down.
you only live,
in someone else's mind.
You're just a page
within my journal,
your just another
bridge to burn.

So what more,
what more proof could you ask for?
You're living life on insecurities,
and i'm not the one to break your fall.

I wasted time to try to save you,
invisible man without a heart.
I thought I could love you,
but theres no such thing as loving you...

Ode to a Tin Man; Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Part II of Omitting My Confessions

Look up to the paper moon some time,
The one that hangs over the cardboard trees.
I know you think its all make believe,
But it wouldn’t be if you believed in me.

If you warmed up your glass heart enough,
You’d know you’re not such a bad tin man.
You let me into your world bit by bit,
And I oiled your ways with an unused can.

I’ve been too cowardly,
but I’ve acted so tough,
I needed some courage;
you saw through my bluff.

And I followed the yellow-brick road
to find your aching heart.
You never knew I loved you,
Not even at the start.

Our friend’s got his reasons,
For being so wrong.
For a man who’s brain is straw
He’s been pretty true all along.

So make this my ode to a tin man,
Though things fell through in the end.
Make this my acceptance of people,
And the way life has been.

Maybe Dorothy’s not in Kansas,
but homes not far away.
Maybe we're just finding bends,
and still walking in straight lines.

Our dreams are so much bigger,
than even we can comprehend,
and these poppies are working hard,
to make us just give in.

But you're not so rusted anymore,
and you're learning you have a heart;
because you can't hear it doesn't mean,
that you lack the ability to love.

Though things are long since gone,
just an apparition, not a dream,
Since Dorothy's gone back home to Kansas,
and since we went our separate ways...

I have to tell you one last time, tin man,
that I can never move on from this.
I can't ever deny I love you,
and I can't say your not what i'll miss.