Ode to a Tin Man; Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Part II of Omitting My Confessions

Look up to the paper moon some time,
The one that hangs over the cardboard trees.
I know you think its all make believe,
But it wouldn’t be if you believed in me.

If you warmed up your glass heart enough,
You’d know you’re not such a bad tin man.
You let me into your world bit by bit,
And I oiled your ways with an unused can.

I’ve been too cowardly,
but I’ve acted so tough,
I needed some courage;
you saw through my bluff.

And I followed the yellow-brick road
to find your aching heart.
You never knew I loved you,
Not even at the start.

Our friend’s got his reasons,
For being so wrong.
For a man who’s brain is straw
He’s been pretty true all along.

So make this my ode to a tin man,
Though things fell through in the end.
Make this my acceptance of people,
And the way life has been.

Maybe Dorothy’s not in Kansas,
but homes not far away.
Maybe we're just finding bends,
and still walking in straight lines.

Our dreams are so much bigger,
than even we can comprehend,
and these poppies are working hard,
to make us just give in.

But you're not so rusted anymore,
and you're learning you have a heart;
because you can't hear it doesn't mean,
that you lack the ability to love.

Though things are long since gone,
just an apparition, not a dream,
Since Dorothy's gone back home to Kansas,
and since we went our separate ways...

I have to tell you one last time, tin man,
that I can never move on from this.
I can't ever deny I love you,
and I can't say your not what i'll miss.

why.

something sweet turned sour,

someone rich is really poor,

mind and spirit were the victums,

Its not a rare thing robbed.

 

But what do you really think,

What do you feel inside?

What happened to you,

That left you so perfectly out of grace?

And why do you love me,

Why do you need me,

Why do you make me want you,

And why do you let me have you?

Why do you give me the things I need,

When im the thing to break?

Attraction.

I thought love was just a fairytale,

Something you hear in songs.

But now I know those songs,

Weren’t so wrong after all.

Theres more than just a feeling,

Wrapped in each other’s arms.

Cause being here with you,

Has meant more to me,

Than the air I breath,

And the heart that lets me live.

 

Loving you has become it all,

The every thought, the burning need.

Who knew a defined difference,

Could be a magnet for attraction

When You Remember You're Alive

You woke up from a coma,

to forget the burdens that you bore.

And so your memory is faded,

you've forgotten what love & life are for.

Unlike you i still remember,

how bad you wished to just let go.

It's too depressing to ignore,

I feel I've now become your foe.

It was one thing to talk of leaving,

of amnesia and of other things,

But now i'm waiting for a smile,

for you to remember your alive.

Escaping isn't the way to go,

when someday, you'll wanna come back.

Sometimes you forget who you are,

your brains empty, but your suitcase packed.

You were the soul color,

that changed my world of black and whites.

You saved me and you let me down,

like a leaf you gave into fading away.

But when will you remember your alive?

Brick By Brick

you left all these things in the wind,

in hopes that there were better things.

And i suppose you found those things,

cause you've left us in the dust.

But its not fair the way this has worked,

you blink to find what you love is gone..

to find that they've moved on beyond this sea..

that they have left you behind to drown.

So have your way,

i'm sinking faster than quicksand..

and this time no ones there to save me..

no this time no ones there to save me from you.

So why did you run so fast to catch a boat,

that didn't have reason to set sail?

Why did you build this sand castle up so high,

when you knew i wouldn't try to escape?

What made you build this brick by brick,

when all you're doing is making a grave of sand?

and tell me why you ran so fast,

when the damage was already done.

So have your way,

i'm choking on the sand that falls..

cause this time no body wants to fight..

yea this time no body wants to fight back.

so i found the water that your boat pushed back,

caused me to drown in the depths at last.

So this castle fell brick by brick,

your designs worked out and you didn't see.

Further Seems Forever; Tear Drops & Train Rides

drowning in tear drops

every time i go to dream.

who knew sighs could form

such lonely puddles of trust.

So much for long goodbyes,

there's only a train ride home.

past whispers of sweet nothings,

are empty shells of what have been.

you cut your brown hair,

and shed light on the real you,

but closed your glowing eyes,

till you could look away.

Because there's a new cause,

though I may have been a first,

but no moral has been wasted,

just a couple thousand kisses.

and thats just another thing i miss,

the beautiful lips that let words slip,

smoothly forming shapes of love,

putting others words to shame.

Its become so wrong to love you,

when i've already lost this war.

I don't see the beacon of hope,

that would tell me to keep fighting.

So where'd your love go?

and why did it fade away?

was it a mistake,

or just my fault once again?

So i'm on the longest trip,

on a train thats not fast enough.

Wishing to watch the world blur past,

to let me sit and imagine other places.

Nature will take its own course,

only slightly moved by the train.

Showing just how unlikely we will ever

leave a footprint in this sand.

Walking through this beach,

in the middle of a storm,

theres no longer time,

to sift through memories with our feet.

Who said we couldn't try though,

this beach is not the one to kill us,

While we look back through those times,

we watched the sun become the moon.

And we watched the angels as they sang;

the steeples a shelter from us all.

They whispered "hallelujah" in my ear,

and flew away into the night--

but where'd they go,

and how'd they get there?

Is this a secret i'll never know,

or just a question i should ask them?

Cause further seems like forever,

when you're in the car thats leaving home.

You look back just to see his face,

midst the dirt roads' flown up dust.

But he's not waving a goodbye,

he's turned his back to you again,

cause those green eyes want something else,

and that heart's already gone.

So this long train ride's going nowhere,

i can't escape the love I feel.

A broken glass reflecting nothing,

but you wish for once it would.

Cause you can't see into the distance,

the mirrors' now a spider web of fears.

No longer useful to depend on,

the images can not be repaired.

A fan blows cold air towards you,

picks your face up from the glass,

you smell the one thing you remember

a hug clings to your wrinkled shirt.

that sweet scent is fading away,

like everything else it can not last.

The farther you can get from him,

the less you can see him in your mind.

And thats alright now,

cause you're not ready yet to face,

anything that lies beyond this train...

anything that lies beneath these tears.

I've tried for so long,

to conquer these dreams about angels,

but even in my sleep,

they're looking down upon me now.

their words echo in dark corners,

singing songs softly to me,

bittersweet lullabies,

etching warm tears into my face.

I lose the one I love,

and even my dreams frown at me,

Even they know that this train,

is a mistake for me to be on.

So what's a train ride home,

when you don't know home anymore.

What's this life really about,

when all we gain is a dead little tree.

Why didn't the tree,

bloom as it should have?

If only it hadn't drown,

swallowed in tear drops and trains.

Maybe then I wouldn't think,

that further seems forever.

These Empty Streets; Jaywalking

You can't let go now..

though you're so right;

everyday you will get up

and feel worse than the day before.

There will always be,

days you want to die.

there will always be

times to look forward to..

or to look back on

and just flat out regret them completely.

After suicide attempts,

I've come to realize,

that its not that I dont have the strength,

it's just that I'm still clinging on

to the hope for something more.

You will realize,

that a gun can look appealing,

that a knife can look less painful

then it ever did before..

but what does it look like,

to the people who lose you?

It looks like a waste of a bullet..

it looks like a dirtied knife..

and what good is such a loss?

To leave them behind to cry over you?

to leave them at a loss forever?

to leave them with the possible thought

that it was there fault you gave up?

Some people are scared.

Can you really blame them?

Society has made everyone look,

suspiciously at other people.

and they cast wrongful light

on a past that hadn't ever been their fault.

Cause we live

in such a dreadful world

that will condemn you,

for walking at diagonals on a street.

We pay fines for that....

just for that you see.

And these empty streets,

are only empty to you and me

Cause we've got one eye closed,

to the gruesome sight around us;

its filled with city bums,

and people who just don't care.

To them, what difference will it make,

but to us, its a frightening fact,

cause we've been where they are,

we've slept in the allies,

and clung to our few belongings.

These empty streets aren't worth,

Jaywalking through,

when we know we're being followed;

that people are watching for us to fall,

tripping on the little things,

so we can fall like angels from high places.

People are uncaring and selfish..

they will be demeaning and judgmental..

you will find many friends..

who will never be your friend.

and thats the truth..

thats the reality of this life.

It doesn't make things any easier..

it doesn't make it right..

but its not worth killing yourself for.

You've had a hard life..

you've been an amazing person..

you made a mistake

and regretted it immensely...

and you moved on,

but this troubled world did not.

And then you met trouble

and through trouble you met fate..

and now you've helped us..

and i suppose that we've helped you.

But in the end,

what is this all worth?

Crying Surrender

My heart is crying love notes,

my tears run down blood red.

Church bells toll against me,

a chime i wish would end.

A letter he finally sent uncaring,

unkind to write me of this.

Love I had spilled out in volumes,

that vanished, engulfed in his flame.

Now he pretends that he knows me,

that he wants me a friend to his life.

So cleanly sliced into sections,

a remark he retorts later on.

He'd lure me into a corner,

kissing me till i can't breath.

But a knife, his own concealed weapon,

an attack to leave me on the floor.

So cruel love can turn out to be,

a disaster worse than ever before.

To leave you crying surrender,

though your heart still beats for him.

When you know you'll never love another,

that these letters are stapled to your heart.

How are you to get past loving,

by the time the chimes come to an end?

Only Time Will Tell

When things are at an end,

and you know that they are over,

Do you listen to a friend,

thought they hate the one you love.

When pushing comes to shoving,

and you're stuck on the wrong side,

Do you stand up for what you believe in,

or sit down so you won't fight?

Cause at the end of the day,

these things are more than just questions.

They turn over stones in your life,

to reveal the good and bad.

But only time will tell you,

what these lessons soon will teach you.

Cause each map will lead you somewhere,

and each step leads you closer still.

When you were still so little,

and your daddy sung you to sleep,

Did you dream about his singing,

or did you dream the stories he told?

When finally you were older,

and you loved your first boyfriend,

Did your heart ever mend,

when you lost him to the wind?

Cause at the end of the day,

my face is stained with tears I cry,

These stones are getting colder,

predicting only what i've lost.

So when will time ever tell you--

these lessons have gone up in flames.

Cause theres enough damage now,

to ruin childrens dreams of love.

So please tell me when time will tell,

cause its all over anyways.

When you wake up from reading stories,

what will time tell you?