These Empty Streets; Jaywalking

You can't let go now..

though you're so right;

everyday you will get up

and feel worse than the day before.

There will always be,

days you want to die.

there will always be

times to look forward to..

or to look back on

and just flat out regret them completely.

After suicide attempts,

I've come to realize,

that its not that I dont have the strength,

it's just that I'm still clinging on

to the hope for something more.

You will realize,

that a gun can look appealing,

that a knife can look less painful

then it ever did before..

but what does it look like,

to the people who lose you?

It looks like a waste of a bullet..

it looks like a dirtied knife..

and what good is such a loss?

To leave them behind to cry over you?

to leave them at a loss forever?

to leave them with the possible thought

that it was there fault you gave up?

Some people are scared.

Can you really blame them?

Society has made everyone look,

suspiciously at other people.

and they cast wrongful light

on a past that hadn't ever been their fault.

Cause we live

in such a dreadful world

that will condemn you,

for walking at diagonals on a street.

We pay fines for that....

just for that you see.

And these empty streets,

are only empty to you and me

Cause we've got one eye closed,

to the gruesome sight around us;

its filled with city bums,

and people who just don't care.

To them, what difference will it make,

but to us, its a frightening fact,

cause we've been where they are,

we've slept in the allies,

and clung to our few belongings.

These empty streets aren't worth,

Jaywalking through,

when we know we're being followed;

that people are watching for us to fall,

tripping on the little things,

so we can fall like angels from high places.

People are uncaring and selfish..

they will be demeaning and judgmental..

you will find many friends..

who will never be your friend.

and thats the truth..

thats the reality of this life.

It doesn't make things any easier..

it doesn't make it right..

but its not worth killing yourself for.

You've had a hard life..

you've been an amazing person..

you made a mistake

and regretted it immensely...

and you moved on,

but this troubled world did not.

And then you met trouble

and through trouble you met fate..

and now you've helped us..

and i suppose that we've helped you.

But in the end,

what is this all worth?