From Judas, to Brutus, and the venom of old times sake

All that time afforded you,

moments to think deceiving thoughts,

about the way my heart beats,

what wrongs have slipped & been uttered from my mouth.

I'm no angel, no, heaven never wanted me,

but you can't say, I'm a right thats simply gone wrong.

To say i didn't delight in the moments

we shared, would be a lie.

But to say i can delight in them now

would be a much bigger lie.

You know the fears i face,

& you know the people,

who have spied on me from the shadows,

watching and waiting, to attack their prey.

Do not be so ignorant,

these things i still do fear,

its not from hate or love that i run,
its from much bigger things.

No, I don't believe she's dumb,

nor foul, nor retarded, or such.

But yes i am saddened,

your words have cut deep,

i'm bleeding from the inside,

your beating has been brutal & a deadly sight.

Turn around and smile for me,

look at her, you'll forget me.

leave me to die in the silence, so dear,

for this night could be a last,

could be a first, could be a nothing--

but a night thats filled with tears.

A rope may be too knotted,

be to harsh, may be too rough

A chemical may be too sweet,

may be too innocent, may be too deadly.

This is no childish dream of floating,

i've taken flight but am too low to keep going.

I've run away from you, friend,

because friend is no more a word for you.

Stranger on the street you are,

walking past the shadow ive become.

You wouldn't look down,

you've risen far above that,

you're looking ahead to better times,

and are concerned with better people.

once you were a human man,

so real, so nice, so caring.

Now you've become just a machine,

spitting out 'sorrys' and tears.

Your heart used to beat warm for me,

then suddenly it was cold.

The sun shines on some other girl,

thats your side thats ever warm.

I'll stare at ceilings the rest of this life,

and wake up stained in tears.

You've cursed me with this,

then turned around and wondered,

why everything i used to be about,

is now a different story,

a story that i've gotta re-write,

a story thats re-defined now,

Maybe im just a freak of nature,

maybe im inside-out,

Maybe im a hopeless story,

maybe im filled with doubt.

Yes he will always make me happy,

hes the one that picked me up,

and understood my every fault,

he saw the good in all of it.

Maybe you think hes horrid,

maybe youre just on the wrong side.

You've stabbed me and youve tied me down,

then tried to make me suffer,

tried to make me watch you live life,

tried to make me regret my words,

words that i have said and i've sworn to,

heres Judas' kiss to your forehead now.

maybe like Thomas im doubting,

maybe like Peter im denying.

or maybe im Julius,

and Brutus is betrayin,

and stayin, not obeyin,

and we're payin, while decayin,

and this way in, is frayin,

while were sayin, why things greyin.

And these rhymes are gettin older,

from this venom we're getting colder,

and our words are getting bolder,

but they'll bind together like a folder.

If i screamed would you just quit crying,

out to me like rain on land thats drying.

cause i feel like i am dying,

through words received with sighing.

I'm a vampire in the trying,

inside i wanna be flying,

instead of here and lying,

when you are not even buying [this].